French Fries T-Shirts

"I guess it's an OK job. Minimum wage plus all you can eat. I tried to quit once but couldn't get out the door."

"See? It never hurts to ask."

'I want to start a movement to remove little ketchup packets from fast food restaurants. I can't dunk my fries!'

You are what you eat.

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

"Two burgers, two fries, two martinis—and we'll have those to go."

Paris' magnificent Trifle tower.

"All the butter was gone. There was no way out. The puff pastry had to be made with margarine... from a tub."

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

"It's okay dear. Dinner always tastes better when it's caught fresh, thrown back, taken from our cooler, removed from the package, and fried."

'Your stab at ordering the wine in French went well.'

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

Garlic Free Zone.

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"I think foie gras is French for endless buffet."

"Gigot de sept heures."

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

'Two famous French wines.' 'Red and white.'

"Oh, but we could be so good together...!"

Cooking with Pierre

''Romantic'? No -- but it makes me feel like having a CROISSANT!'

"We're actually going to grow potatoes on Mars!"

If you give a mouse a French cookie: "And suddenly the memory returns. The taste was that of the little crumb of madeleine which on Sunday mornings at..."

"Our French chef just quit, so instead of the crepes you ordered, I made a breakfast burrito."

"Might I recommend one of our salads? They come with three of your companion's fries."

"I love when you make asparagus soup!"

'My French is not so good.'

Paul Bocuse caricature

'The Entrecote a la Bordelaise? It's stuff on a plate.'

Culinary Culture.

"Interested in some romantic punk rock during your dinner?"

'Here's a good one, France on 2000 calories a day.'

'The escargots are underdone.'

'Hey, Frenchie - you call this paupiettes de beouf aux legumes?'