French Cuisine Aficionado T-Shirts

A Scene at the Lucullus.

Brand-new jeans for sale! (Thanks to the French Cook!).

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

"All the butter was gone. There was no way out. The puff pastry had to be made with margarine... from a tub."

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

Paris' magnificent Trifle tower.

'Your stab at ordering the wine in French went well.'

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

Garlic Free Zone.

"I think foie gras is French for endless buffet."

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

Cooking with Pierre

"Gigot de sept heures."

'Two famous French wines.' 'Red and white.'

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

"Oh, but we could be so good together...!"

''Romantic'? No -- but it makes me feel like having a CROISSANT!'

Ordering Food At A French Restaurant.

'Here's a good one, France on 2000 calories a day.'

'The Entrecote a la Bordelaise? It's stuff on a plate.'

'The escargots are underdone.'

Paul Bocuse caricature

'Hey, Frenchie - you call this paupiettes de beouf aux legumes?'

"My bouche was not amused."

Culinary Culture.

"Our French chef just quit, so instead of the crepes you ordered, I made a breakfast burrito."

"I love when you make asparagus soup!"

"Interested in some romantic punk rock during your dinner?"

'My French is not so good.'

"Pat? de fois gras avec des petits pois et pommes de terre au gratin? Very well, sir ? is generic okay?"

'Yes, all our flambe dishes come with injury, liability insurance.'

French man holding a dish.

Placier.

'If that is a toenail, it is a French toenail.'