Freemason Pillows

'It's the three masons.'

Wife asking her husband questions about Freemasonry

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Instructional guide to scribbling

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

"My girlfriend really went all out on this one."

'Next Please...' (Joe's Sharpening Service).

How Swordfish Are Born

'Masonry robot, what are you doing?'

Pyramid catflap...

"Excuse me, Jerrod, but I'm leaving you for Paul's competing narrative."

Copywriter's blank paper compared to the gridded screen of a content provider.

Was the Illuminati - now the Illuminasty

"We're going to build in Rhinebeck, once Steven finds the right brick."

'Just as we finally get the industrial revolution down pat, we find ourselves in the middle of the electronic revolution.'

'Now you know where you left your tools.'

Last Chance for Everything.

Build a home where the buffalo roam? Bah!

Hammer and Anvil.

Tata: Goodbuy or Goodbye?

Cosmetic Stone Mason.

Me cold. Need heat cave. Fire works. To make metal tools, I need to melt these rocks. Fire works. I'd like a romantic atmosphere for my date tonight. Fire works. How should we celebrate the founding of our new nation? Fireworks!

'Watch your step. I lost my footing on these dang paving stones.'

"Well, that's the scaffolding up...We'll be back next week to start building..."

Knights' Status Report: Rusted out, Metal fatigue, Popped rivets, Bad welds, Squeaky hinges, Dents and dings.

"Apparently he needed an emergency hernia operation shortly afterwards!"

'What ever happened to that persnickety inspector?'

'...And it comes with valuable coupons toward your next purchase.'

"Hey. Stop that. You're creeping us out."

Medieval sculptor hits thumb while carving a gargoyle.

Servant unscrews knight from his suit of armour.

European Arms Proliferation - 1860's

"This must be Easter Island!"

Museum. Celtic smiths were the first to add iron rims to chariot wheels. They should have called them "ferrous wheels"!

"I think he's been capitalised!"