Freelance Guru Pillows

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

'Hey! What's the big idea!?!'

'Hi, this is Batman. You've reached the Batcave. I'm not in right now but as soon as I return I'll call you bat.'

Kirsten Johnson

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

'You wiseaces who said, this factory would move to China are wrong! It's moving to India!'

'I don't actually work for you. I'm a consultant.'

'This exotic dessert I make is guilt-free. I already burned all the calories running around finding the ingredients!'

'It's normal -- Enlightenment freaks a lot of people out.'

"Is that you nomad's answer to everything...ROAD TRIP?"

"Finally, a co-worker who CAN handle Big data!"

Cartoon computer

'Hey! It's way too early to declare me, 'Nerd of the Century'!'

'It's all right, Dad -- it's a Buddhist chat room!'

The Last Jerseys.

Humane Mouse Trap "It doesn't kill them,. It just makes them feel really guilty about inconveniencing you."

"I was solving those same problems when I was your age."

"As long as you insist that we hire executives smarter than you, how about we get ones that smell better, too?"

'I am playing outside, Mom -- look at the graphics.'

'I understand the Adirondacks are where it's REALLY happening.'

"Frankly, we're just keeping out heads above water."

'My date last night was a 10. Of course, I'm using the binary system.'

"Boy, Dr. Perkins, are you a 'site' for sore eyes!"

"Maybe when they're a little older, my son can help yours with his homework."

"I'm retiring to spend more time with my social media accounts."

"I'm guessing with all that mold coming out of your computer, it's been awhile since you've added fresh content to your site."

"Excruciating boredom, my son, is the beginning of wisdom."

Bob worked hard to avoid the spotlight.