Free Spirit Seeker Gifts

Noah's Ark Paper Airplane

"1972: Kim and Doug invited us to their key party... Sounds groovy! 2017: We just got an evite from Kim and Doug to join them on an ayahuasca retreat in Peru... Tommy starts hockey and my father is about to die—no way."

"It wasn't enough being a free range chicken. Now he wants to be a free sex chicken."

"A high-powered career, a happy family, a big beautiful house: my dream is to avoid it all."

"Good game."

Carefree luggage.

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"I gotta be me!"

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

Happy kids running abount with a 'Schools out' banner

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

'Mom, don't you understand? Those collars are symbols of subservience and repression!'

'The meaning of life is dog food.'

"Needs to get a life"

"All we have left is standing room only."

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

Zenemies.

Tiny Visions

My God, I need to fart.

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

Unguided imagery

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.