Free Spirit Seeker Gifts

Noah's Ark Paper Airplane

"1972: Kim and Doug invited us to their key party... Sounds groovy! 2017: We just got an evite from Kim and Doug to join them on an ayahuasca retreat in Peru... Tommy starts hockey and my father is about to die—no way."

"It wasn't enough being a free range chicken. Now he wants to be a free sex chicken."

"A high-powered career, a happy family, a big beautiful house: my dream is to avoid it all."

Elevator/Open Range

"Good game."

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

Carefree luggage.

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"I gotta be me!"

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

Happy kids running abount with a 'Schools out' banner

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

He avoids wrath, envy, lust, greed, gluttony and sloth -- the problem is he's proud of it!

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

Zenemies.

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

Astral Projection

Tiny Visions

"Needs to get a life"