Fourth Of July Fan Pillows

Dog Park. Happy 4th of July. They heard Ben Franklin described as a "wolf" so he's their favorite founding father. Nothing is certain in this world except fleas and leash laws. A penny swallowed is a penny earned. Early to be and early to rise makes a dog a very good boy. Never leave for tomorrow that which can be eaten today. An ounce of dog is worth a pound of happiness. That one is my favorite!

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

On August 14, 2011 at app. 2:00 p, Derek Winslow made scientific history by converting an item of the animal kingdom into an item of the plant kingdom.

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

'Steak Ted?'

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

"I've just barbecued my head again."

"Let's save a few so we can continue to piss off the neighbors for the next few weeks."

"Be sure to check out the rides. They're free, too, with the purchase of tickets."

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

"You like yours well done, right?"

"They make an awfully big thing of cookouts."

"Oh, come on! Nobody brought a pen?"

US National holiday

John F. Kennedy

Under New Management. Actually, Betsy, we were hoping for a flag with a little more style.

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.

'Well, if he can't be a Minuteman, he can be a minutedog.'

Lucky Stars.

The Idea of America.

"Well-done, alright?"

"It's a cookout-act stupid!"

"We fear no more for today is our Independence Day!"

Thank God It's Friday.

'How do you like your steaks? Scorched, burnt or cremated?'

The first law of barbecuing. Your tongs will never be long enough.

'If I don't use the charcoal grill, I get a carbon offset and the fire department gets a day off.'

Where the framers of the Constitution bought their frames.

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness." It's okay for a first draft, Thomas, but it'll be much better if you make it rhyme!

Footing The Bill

"Depending on my mood, I go to a different part of the house: Master listens to jazz, Mistress to classical and Young Master to rock and roll..."

Me cold. Need heat cave. Fire works. To make metal tools, I need to melt these rocks. Fire works. I'd like a romantic atmosphere for my date tonight. Fire works. How should we celebrate the founding of our new nation? Fireworks!

Tomorrow we'll cheer the fourth of July! Picnics with families mean hot dogs to buy! Flags will be waving so proudly up high! And fireworks displays will light the night sky which Frank will miss due to way too much pie! Pie Eating Contest!

'I know that it's the Fourth of July, but I still don't think an air conditioner is supposed to do this.'