St. Patrick's Day Fan Pillows

'Look I know they're all the same length, but concentrate, Mrs. O'Brien. Which one of these fools took your husband?'

'These little green pills should help you get your Irish up.'

"I stole me a pot of gold. That's how I became a Lepre-CON."

"Too much green beer, Bob?"

"He couldn't even drive us out himself?!"

'All that smoking has stunted your growth.'

'Mary, please clear my schedule for today. Something's come up.'

"'Frankenstein' is Jewish. I'm Irish on my mother's side befcause she was green, and an 'O'Houligan'..."

"I'm half Irish."

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

'It's a note...It says I.O.U. one pot of gold.'

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

"Hic. Gosh and begorrah!" "Wha?"

"Happy St Patrick’s Day"

'So, what do you think of my first attempt at making homemade beer?'

'No standing while room is in motion.'

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

"A pint! I'll need proof, and that's human years, not dog years!"

Best Before 5th Pint.

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

At Ireland's oldst and most respected school of dance, Mrs O'Hara made a terrible discovery... (Book entitled 'The book of Irish dancing vol. 2 - How to incorporate the arms')

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

'Here comes your own personal weekly beer supply, Joe!'

"I know my drinking limits.The problem is that I can never reach them - I simply fall down."

Traditional Ale - Traditional Drunk

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

I.O.U. one pot of gold.

Just the one...

'Did you hear that? They said 'Hello' to you.'

Bottle Distillery

'The way I see it, drinking is its own reward.'

St. Patricks Day Shamrock Outfit

Buy one beer, get one free. If I may paraphrase a famous quote, "Beer is proof that God has mixed feelings about us and wants us to be hungover."

Bar: Now serving 24 hours - 'I want to get as wasted as you look.'

"Of course, it may be one of those sting operations!"