St. Patrick's Day Fan Pillows

'Look I know they're all the same length, but concentrate, Mrs. O'Brien. Which one of these fools took your husband?'

"Too much green beer, Bob?"

'All that smoking has stunted your growth.'

'Mary, please clear my schedule for today. Something's come up.'

"I'm half Irish."

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

'It's a note...It says I.O.U. one pot of gold.'

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

"Happy St Patrick’s Day"

'No standing while room is in motion.'

"Hic. Gosh and begorrah!" "Wha?"

'So, what do you think of my first attempt at making homemade beer?'

"A pint! I'll need proof, and that's human years, not dog years!"

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

Best Before 5th Pint.

At Ireland's oldst and most respected school of dance, Mrs O'Hara made a terrible discovery... (Book entitled 'The book of Irish dancing vol. 2 - How to incorporate the arms')

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

Traditional Ale - Traditional Drunk

"I know my drinking limits.The problem is that I can never reach them - I simply fall down."

'Here comes your own personal weekly beer supply, Joe!'

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

I.O.U. one pot of gold.

Just the one...

'The way I see it, drinking is its own reward.'

'Did you hear that? They said 'Hello' to you.'

"Of course, it may be one of those sting operations!"

Bar: Now serving 24 hours - 'I want to get as wasted as you look.'

St. Patricks Day Shamrock Outfit

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.

Bottle Distillery

'It's St Patrick's Day...I thought you called this car your lucky charm??!'

"Hey, wait a minute! Isn't that our TV cable?"

'The guy at the end of the bar, would like to know if he can get you to buy him another drink?'

'Malty tasking.'