Fountain Pen Enthusiast Pillows

'Your pen is noiser than a sword.'

Mine

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

'It's a Joan Biro.'

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

"It's about the murder of an editor who refuses to publish a writer's work..."

Hamlet in the craft shop.

Biro Diversity

Cello player with pencil instead of bow

Weapens of Mass Instruction

Penguins in the form of writing Pens

A man crosses a fountain pen bridge to reach books.

Je Suis Charlie

"I like fountains very much!"

"This X-Ray proves conclusively that you don't have a book in you."

"It's ironic. It looks like you're here because you're such a bad cartoonist."

Indian snake charmer charms a snake.

"This next song I just wrote, and it's called 'I Hate Fountain Pens.'"

Water-works.

Pencil sharpeners in hell

'Yes, the wood on this pencil is from a renewable source.'

"Oprah is definite, Barnes and Noble is giving you front windows, and Norman Mailer has agreed to a feud."

'It's Jopnes Sir! He's showing off his ballpoint pen again!'

Spilled Ink

'Oi! '

"I'll pencil you in for recess."

Man reading on top of giant pencil being carried by others.

'Before computers and word processors, we were nerds with slide rules and very sharp pencils!'

"Getting a little thin on top and dull below, eh Pop?"

Steadman - The Early Years.

How to write

'Fortunately, our decline was slowed here when the marker ran dry.'

A lumberjack leans against a giant pencil that reads "Giant Sequoia Brand No .2".