Foul Play Aficionado Pillows

Kicker hits too hard.

"Tommy!"

"I must insist on my lawyer present."

'AQ popgun? I want a field model Browning pump chambered for the 3-inch magnum load.'

'I'm afraid it's gingivitis.'

'He intentionally entangles his face mask in my hand!'

'Thanks for leaving that sponge in me, Doc. Now I can drink twice as much wine.'

Veterinary Clinic: We Accept Mastercard or Mistresscard.

Big deal - a guy writes a couple of plays, and suddenly he thinks he's the spokesman for his generation.

"Of course failure is an option; I use it all the time!"

"Sheesh Kebab"

Blue Tit Bank.

'I didn't know trampling was a foul.'

Ask a Silly Question, Get A Silly Answer

Sock drawer.

On that fateful visit to the supermarket, it was Tongue's misstep that would lead to a fall, a lawsuit, and an eventual catch-phrase.

clown trophies

"No, I meant 'Duck'!"

'At the Spoonerism cafe...' 'Ah - here comes my carrots and peas.'

"It's from my Swiss account."

Monkeys Steal Quicksand Sign.

'Your blender makes good lemonade, Mom. Now, can we make some alphabet soup with your word processor.'

'Of course you can play with fire Dear...'

"It's Albert's revamped version of the old 'arrow through the head' gag, but it still needs a bit of work."

Trump Welcomes Erdogan to the White House

'Can of worms - do not open!'

Around the horn with Henri Matisse

'I sincerely thank you for your concern, but I'm only setting up a swing.'

"Excuse me, my bowl and glass seem to be stuck to the table."

Taken Out At The Ballgame