Name-play Aficionado Pillows

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

Punt Cake

'Hello, Acme signs? This is the Berger & Coles Law Office...'

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

"Nuts to you, too."

AA Meeting Here Today

"Petting zoo" "Heavy petting zoo"

The americanisation of vulture.

"A whack, whack here. A whack, whack there. Here a whack, there a whack. Everywhere a whack, whack."

"Not to brag or anything, but I'm the elephant in the room at my company."

"Privates Beach"

"You be the moral grandstander and I'll be the politically incorrect troll."

New Flavors at Where's the Scoop Ice Cream

"When the company announced that they're gonna move our retirement accounts down to Mexico, I was like '401 Que Pasa?'"

"Didn't you just say that?"

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

'As meetings go that was one of my better ones!'

"Fresh pepper spray?"

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

"You have word-ill."

'Alphabet soup? What's alphabet?'

"I must insist on my lawyer present."

Punkins

'Frankincense, dummy! I asked for frankincense!'

Two vending machines for fisherman: 'Live Bait' next to 'Dead as a Doornail Bait'

Laxatives - "I'm after some comic relief."

'Floppo' lottery rebranding

Womb service: A special room service for pregnant Women

"Sold For sale Ellie Kopp 1-800-238-7463 Yaffle Realty Stop renting. Buy your boot from a boot."

"Tell us again about the humpback of Notre dame."