Fortunetelling Gifts

"Hurry it up, Solomon Brothers are waiting for my decision"

"I don't see the Whitney, but Mary Boone will send you a Christmas card."

"Your car is being hot-wired."

'Madame Astra spiritualist' door 'Please ring, knocking only confuses'

'What? When you cross a fortune teller with snot? Nostril-damus!'

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

"The sweater you knit him will be thrown out in February."

"Why bother?"

Asking out a palm reader.

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

Don't worry, I see babies, lots of babies...

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

Emergency numbers on a telephone.

Quantum Psychic

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

Channelling on the Cheap

Pie Filling Reader

Madame ZuZu. Dream Interpretation. Tarot. Palms. She says the dream where I'm taking a test naked means I barely made it through school.

Using psychic powers, the final exam had been a breeze. However, Madame Evetta did not realize that the student in front of her from who she had obtained the majority of her answers, was Bugs Higgins.

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'

"What's the final episode of 'Seinfeld' about?""It's about nothing."

'I can see a visit to the vet, but, oh my, no more kids after that!...'

'This fortune cookie says 'buy oriental tea futures'...'

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

Card Reader in PC Supplies Store.