Fortune Tryer Pillows

Stock market books.

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

A cow goes to the Fortune Teller - 'I can see two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

'Joe has been partying hard!'

'I want to find out what the formula was I wrote yesterday on the blackboard and was erased by the custodian.'

'This New Year you will be bathed in a sea of cash!...Hand on...Sorry. This New Year you will need a flea bath for some sort of rash.'

'Don't worry about making your will, Miss Moneybags leave everything to me. . .'

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

"....and then it turned out that the e-mail I ignored that I got from the Nigerian bank offering me £200 million was REAL!"

"Mine says this relationship will never work out and I should dump you right now!"

'Come off it-she only said the guys will be fighting over us because you said we lived UNDER a boxing club!'

Made all my investment decisions with a coin flip.

'The crystal ball says to buy and the 8-Ball says to sell.'

Man sees 'Palm Readings and Stock Projections' business window

"Trepanning for gold"

'Congratulations! You've just won ten million dollars!'

Gambling on office building construction

Golden Eggs.

'Risky? Good lord no! We're going to make a fortune!'

'Your life will being when all of your kids are married and the dog dies.'

Oil explodes from the wishing well.

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

"I see you on a beach..."

Your Palm

"Now...this piece of paper will reveal even more."

'I may charge a lot but you get much more through me. I'm a psychic large.'

'Of course, it's marvellous news! Absolutely marvellous! My Word! A national lottery winner! Wonderful stroke of luck!'

"Forget about tall and handsome. What about portfolio 10 year highs and lows?"

"Let's save some time, shall we?... Yes, no, for about five years, since I was a small boy, yes, I can start on Monday. Thanks, bye."

"Sometimes I like to think back and reminisce about tomorrow."

Your Winning Lottery Numbers Told: 'If they are really what you say - how come you can only afford a tent?'

'No, I don't want to change my long distance phone company, and,,, Yes, I should have known it was you calling'

'According to your love line, I should be calling a cop right now!'