Fortune Food Fan T-Shirts

"Your moon is in the House of Pancakes."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

"Two burgers, two fries, two martinis—and we'll have those to go."

Gramma's Tators & Gravy...All You Can Eat!

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

OFA. Onion Farmer of the Year. I told myself I wasn't going to cry ….

'I made your favorite for dinner — pterodactyl nuggets!'

A cow goes to the Fortune Teller - 'I can see two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

'How can he be depressed when all he eats are Happy Meals?'

"Only 35% CACAO? I'll have to eat TWICE as much then!"

'It's supposed to look and smell greasy.'

"It's completely normal for someone your age to develop a taste for butterscotch."

The proper term for our special promotion is Triple Cheeseburger with a Gazillion fries...not the triple bypass special!

"Is the garbage fresh?"

The miracle of 2-for-1 pizza.

'The two-pounds-burger menu includes chips, a large drink and an arteriosclerosis treatment.'

"Bob, you're just not selling me on you essential hamburgerness."

'You'll love this, it has no nutritional value.'

Supermarket Aisles: 'Good for the Environment' and 'Couldn't give a flying F@$#! about the environment!'

"Whoa! One last doughnut left."

Now all meals contain 'Enzymate' for fast digestion.'

Sisyphus Pizza

'My crystal ball is in the shop. Pick a fortune cookie.'

I assure you the animals didn't suffer. All of our meat comes from animals who died naturally of old age while vacationing in Miami.

Friendly bacteria

'I didn't have time to hunt'

"So that's a triple burger with added cheese and relish... Would you like the complementary angioplasty with that?"

"My brain said, exercise....my tummy auto-corrected that to, extra-fries!"

'Diet? Yeah I'm on a prop's diet...pies,chips,burgers and coke!'

That's my boss for you - a platitude with an attitude.

'Congratulations! You've just won ten million dollars!'

"You know they're trying too hard when the chef's special is Corn Dogs Bordelaise."