Fortune Food Fan T-Shirts

"Your moon is in the House of Pancakes."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

"Two burgers, two fries, two martinis—and we'll have those to go."

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

Gramma's Tators & Gravy...All You Can Eat!

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

A cow goes to the Fortune Teller - 'I can see two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

'I made your favorite for dinner — pterodactyl nuggets!'

"Is the garbage fresh?"

"It's completely normal for someone your age to develop a taste for butterscotch."

The proper term for our special promotion is Triple Cheeseburger with a Gazillion fries...not the triple bypass special!

"Only 35% CACAO? I'll have to eat TWICE as much then!"

'It's supposed to look and smell greasy.'

The miracle of 2-for-1 pizza.

"Bob, you're just not selling me on you essential hamburgerness."

'The two-pounds-burger menu includes chips, a large drink and an arteriosclerosis treatment.'

Sisyphus Pizza

Supermarket Aisles: 'Good for the Environment' and 'Couldn't give a flying F@$#! about the environment!'

Now all meals contain 'Enzymate' for fast digestion.'

'You'll love this, it has no nutritional value.'

I assure you the animals didn't suffer. All of our meat comes from animals who died naturally of old age while vacationing in Miami.

Friendly bacteria

'I didn't have time to hunt'

'Diet? Yeah I'm on a prop's diet...pies,chips,burgers and coke!'

"You know they're trying too hard when the chef's special is Corn Dogs Bordelaise."

"So that's a triple burger with added cheese and relish... Would you like the complementary angioplasty with that?"

"Welcome to the Bermudez family Christmas party!"

That's my boss for you - a platitude with an attitude.

'Congratulations! You've just won ten million dollars!'

"My brain said, exercise....my tummy auto-corrected that to, extra-fries!"