Former Teacher Pillows

"Get Well" Cards. I need a "Get Well" card for my old english teacher. Do you have one that cajoles in the indicative rather than commands in the imperative?

'Quick! Name the capitol of North Dakota! What is an isosceles triangle? How high is mount everest? Think! You did study, didn't you, young man?'

'Miss Fenwick - my old school teacher!!'

'Andy! That's my 4th grade teacher, Mrs. Werfel. You've got to wait on her for me. I'm too embarrassed.' - 'Is it because your a sales clerk or because you were late for class again yesterday.'

'Remember me, Mr. Sanders? I was a student in your social studies class. You told me I was destined to serve the public.'

Say, aren't you my old shop teacher who said I couldn't cut a straight line to save my life?

"Freddy, take this back and add it up again. I was your maths teacher, remember."

"It's a student you taught 20 years ago asking if you'd loan him bail money!"

A Puppet Named Juan

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

Where your mind & battle are los

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

Ethics exam cheater.

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

Copycats

I should be a writer when I grow up...

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

Computer Room.

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

Gender Equality

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

"Did I hear the dog in here?"