Formal Gathering Gifts

"It's not a cummerbund. It's my underpants."

Sloaney Pony.

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

Wine Lady

Illustration from an Unpublished Novel

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

The prying mantis,

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

Diamond outfits

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

The devil you know and his plus one

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

Miniature Cattle Fanciers

"You two seem oddly suited."

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

Arms reach through a mirror to straighten a man's bow tie.

'The Ambassador will not be pleased, Madame.'

I've been looking forward to this the whole year: It can get lonely out there...

"Phil's an expert networker. One drink and he's on schmooze-control."

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

Glyndebourne

Midwest Winter Items.

"You're doing fine - don't watch your feet."

Playing cards.

'I don't think we're devoted to the Lord. I think we're devoted to dessert.'

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."

Purple dress

"Once you get over the three hundred and sixty eight texts it took to plan this, it really is nice to get together."

"I rushed here from surgery. I didn't have time to get into costume."

"God help us, it's that guy."

"How much longer, roughly, will you be introducing me as a 'disgruntled Republican'?"

'I'm calling this a plate and I already have service for six. Six more and I can invent the dinner party.'

'I'm sorry, he likes to let off wind after dinner.'