Formal Dinner Enthusiast Pillows

Friends of the Royal Academy - Annual Dinner

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"Stephen and I are today's special."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"You do like octopus?"

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

It's not because I'm nervous. The reason I'm not eating is because I really do have butterflies in my stomach.

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

Benihana style of cooking.

"I understand this diner has quite a reputation."

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

"Joel! Killer crust!"

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Yogurt Surprise. We call it "yogurt surprise" because we couldn't read the expiration date on the carton.

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

'Who gets the decaf?'

Chicken Little was correct about something falling, unfortunately, it was an axe, and not the sky.

"Deep-dish pizza calls for deep-glass beer."

"I can't go much longer without your asking why I'm vegan."

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

"Anything but milk and cookies."