Forgotten Athlete Gifts

'I didn't know you played baseball, Mr.Catsby!'

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

I took a vacation to forget everything and I forgot my luggage.

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

'You do realize you're no longer a pro athlete and there is no preseason to work out the kinks, don't you?'

'Welcome to Heaven. By the way, here's your favorite club you lost on that course 28 years ago.'

Zdeno Chara

Old Joe was determined to reach the summit as he'd left his false teeth up there last week!

"You forgot to pick up the dry cleaning. It's written all over your face."

Gareth Bale

"Seriously, fellas, I can't get up."

"Forgotten anything?"

'Well, I've stopped racing professionally you see, so I can enjoy good food at long last...'

I got my bad back from an old football injury.

"I totally forgot what I came up here for."

"I'm sure he was a great blocker when he was playing, but I doubt he'll be a great ad blocker."

'I've been transferred again.'

Old basketball players never die. . . they just pick and roll.

"I used to be a racer: Giving people joy-rides is really really boring..."

'There was a time when I considered making myself available for the NBA draft. But one day I realized, hey - I'm a slug! I don't have an athletic bone in my body!'

Rugby golden oldies.

'Sure elephants never forget. You can't even remember how to ride a bicycle.'

'I HATE Spring cleaning!'

Where are they now? Paul Henderson.

"If exercise is so good for you, how come athletes retire at 35?"

(Retired) Jockeying for position.

Old man dusting bodybuilding trophies.

"Electric car, heck I can't even remember to plug in my phone."

Retirement became the obvious decision.

"Tyler lost interest in baseball once he tried old-time boxing."

Being vertically challenged, I never realized my dream of becoming a pro basketball player. But on a trip to work, it was just like I was a hoops star! I spilled some coffee when walking. I dribble whenever my feet are in motion. I took a selfie when I stopped at the ATM - it was a nice bank shot. Then as I neared the office, I came down the lane - and made an impressive display of driving and dunking. I should be getting a big shoe sponsorship contract any day now!

'I don't haven to remind you again, do I?'

'I hope i did leave the faucet running so the water will put out the fire from the stove I left on.'

'Well, I've stopped racing professionally you see, so I can enjoy good food at long last...'

Sweet Old Lady with jogging shoes and running number.