Forgetfulness Forgiver Gifts

"'Happy Anniversary' yourself!"

"Remember that time you tried to kill me?"

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

'Please forgive me for anything I've said or left unsaid.'

"Pray only for peace, love, strength and forgiveness. Never, ever spam the Lord."

"No need to remind me. I'm well aware that I've forgotten completely about you."

'No, I didn't get a presidential pardon, but I got something better. God has forgiven me.'

"She can forgive Nixon, but she can't forgive me."

'The problem seems to be in the memory bank.'

'It's true that my wife does forgive and forget - the trouble is that she never forgets what she's forgiven...'

Pastor to couple: 'It is more blessed to forgive than to receive.'

"I forgive you, Bumpty."

"I hate it when I walk into a room and forget why I went in there. Especially when it's the bathroom."

"I've been trying to apply that 'forgive and forget' principle..."

Student to other: 'I keep forgetting to return my library books on 'boomerangs' and ... what was the other one? Oh yeah, 'memory improvement'.'

The Confessional: a bored priest listens to a confession.

Woman says, 'How did your memory improvement class go last night?' Man answers, 'I completely forgot about it!'

Priest says to man in confessional: 'Blah-de-blah ... come on, get to the good stuff!'

"Oh, nuts – I forgot why I came out here."

'You forgave her for that last week. When you forgive and forget you're not allowed to forget you forgave.'

Expert examining painting: "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm afraid it's a fake."

"I would have remembered if I didn't forget."

"I've lost my keys, my wallet and my iPhone! Frankly, I think MINE is the lost generation!"

"Refresh my memory, Miss Lockland. Who am I?"

"It's definitely Friday. I'm looking at my calendar."

"My memory's terrible these days"

'DO me a favor. Don't keep saying 'Hi. How's it going?' whenever you swim past me.'

Memory School.

'There's something I never do, now if I could just remember what it was.'

'Admit it - you've been worried since you were flashed by that speed camera...'

'It was March, 1842. I said, ‘Walter, you can't stay mad FOREVER!''