Forgery Enthusiast Pillows

"It's a scan of a digital image of a photo of a painting of a sculpture of an impersonator of a forger -- want a copy?"

"Careful with that - the wife made it at pottery class."

Mr. Evers specifically asked for a plain coffee, not an espresso.

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

"I'll tell you how much wood I could chuck if I could—a lot, like, half a cord!"

Progress?

Hammer and Anvil.

Joan of Arc goes sword shopping.

'There, THAT tree won't bother anyone anymore!'

Rudyard Kipling

'I take it this is your first big game hunt?!!'

'Don't tell anyone I asked... but why don't we have muskets?'

Emily Dickinson

'Look out, it's a double edged sword. . .'

'WOW! Did anyone see the recoil on this baby?'

'Useful Drywall Screws' next to a huge box of 'Useless Drywall Screws.'

Ancient Weapons

Best Seller 'Screw You'. Kiss the Author's Ass 2 PM.

Frenchy Fries, one of the world's greatest art forgers

"Wouldn't it be cool to live in the middle ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords?"

'Great news Marcel! Proof that it's a genuine Leonardo!'

"It's a forgery, alright! And by the looks of it... a fairly recent one."

Major Poets, Minor Poets, Free Agents.

"O.K., but let's say you have up to six hundred intruders per minute."

'I suspect, Madam, that this Van Gogh is a forgery.'

"The quality of the writing is an embarrassment, it has no style, no fluency, no soul!"

Battle.

During a round of throwing stuff the boomerang emerges.

"Heh, I've left a pin on his seat."

'I'd go small with this burglar. Way too much collateral damage with the cannon.'

"Is it just me, or does it also look to you like their resistance is feudal?"