Forest Gourmet Pillows

'Can you pass me the saw-dust when you're finished with it Darling?'

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

"This is locally grown and good for the environment, but it may give you greenhouse gas."

'Any wilderness skills besides making smores?'

"Vegetables, vegetables, vegetables, welcome to my dystopian world!"

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

Fly Tastings: 'Notice that hint of dog fur and then let that full bodied garbage finish unfold.'

Veggie Hall of Fame.

"All our donuts are hand fried in what will eventually become biofuel."

Stuffing the turkey.

"Put out the Asian sates, the Russian blinis, and the Mexican bean dips, while whip up something Korean."

'I'm writing a vegetarian cook book.'

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

"I didn't realize there was so many different kinds of vegetables!"

"Pie chart"

'Hello, Ebeneezer! It's me - the ghost of coming dinner!'

" 'Unlimited salad bar' sounded better on the menu."

"...and, for those parishioners who insist on a Eucharist made with all organic, locally-sourced ingredients, see Father Maguire at aisle three."

"Uh, yeah, that looks a little too organic."

'Eat your lettuce. It'll put colour back in your cheeks.'

"I'm getting subtle hints of chlorophyll."

"I didn't know they could make so many entrees with vegetables!"

Vet to angry-looking dog: 'You ate some crabgrass, eh? Were you self-medicating again?'

Four Star Meal

"I certainly hope you're composting the leftovers."

'Are you sure you washed this salad?'

"Love your new tattoo."

"So here we are...the great outdoors!"

'Mom always told us to eat the greens!'

I love Sprouts

Cull people who think, because it's organic, they can sell produce that's past its best.