Frontier Gourmet Pillows

Cooking Cowboy

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

'I can't wait 'til hunting is googling and gathering is calling out for delivery.'

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

The Main Types of Cheese

Too much cilantro

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

To do before Saturday...

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

Cheese

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

"I use broccoli rabe as a litmus test."

Holiday Supplies

'Is this still America?'

Keith Floyd.

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

"Staring down the enemy in the heat of battle! That is how sausage is made!"

"The bagels are better in New York."

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

'We have Vanilla, Chocolate and Strawberry on your choice of Cedar, Oak or Elm cone...'

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'