Forensic Psychologist Gifts

"You're the one with the fancy forensic psychology degree; you tell me which one of them did it."

"As a forensic psychologist, it's my opinion that the defendant is not a risk to the public. Any more passive-aggressive questions?"

"Undiagnosed serial killer"

Clinical psychology involves observation of patients in clinics and related settings. Forensic psychology takes place at crime scenes. Cognitive psychology uses mathematical models. It can happen at a computer. Ernie prefers to put his patients in the car and drive backwards. Which is? Reverse psychology.

'Ah, the old up-phase bipolar cop, down-phase bipolar cop routine, eh?'

Practicing for the lie detector test...'I have only $800 in the bank. I was never in Chicago. I know nothing about the dog food business.'

Lynching on social media

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

'I have this fear of the real world...'

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

Support the Ex-Troops

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

Fear/Knowledge

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

'Look, you can only do so much!'

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

America, are we learning anything?

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

Bob had to confront his fear of butterflies.

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."