Forensic Artist Gifts

"Can you describe your assailant, his weapon and a funny occupation to our improv sketch artist?"

'Chief, this could be anyone!'

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

'I'm sure that the autopsy will confirm it was a suicide.'

"You're either lying or not telling the truth."

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

'Who was the murderer? Well Watson, that's the killer question.'

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

"True crime meets reality TV"

Mother to son, regarding stolen cake: 'I don't need to check anything with 'the boys in forensics' I know it was you.'

"My pawprints? Nah, I wore gloves. They matched my noseprints on the window."

'I believe the murderer is in this very room.'

"The DNA sample from the mink fibres found in the suspect's car matched the DNA sample from the mink coat found at the scene of the crime, so I'm thinking, maybe these minks were twins?"

Big finger print trying to forge a cheque but he can't.

'It's the same EVERY year... 5 minutes to midnight; victims are all male, and they're carrying large sums of money.'

Police man stands guard at a murder scene in Egyptology department of a museum.

"According to stomach content analysis he'll be dead in half an hour."

"... and I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling forensic pathologists."

'Looks like the victim was trying to tell us something,'

I understand that our cat Magus died. I miss her a lot. But I wish my parents wouldn't tiptoe around it. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You don't have to watch Youtube clips of "CSI: Miami" to understand that death is a part of life. The thing I don't understand about our cat's death is, who would've killed her and left a mountain of unresolved clues that only a crack forensics team can figure out? Where were you at 8:45pm? The Youtube generation grows up fast.

"By Ned, you're right, inspector—the body has been moved."

"Oh come on! How can you possibly know that it's Yorick without a proper forensic reconstruction?"

CSI: Alaska. "What have we got, Ted?" "Looks like a snowball with a rock in it...I'll know more when I get it back to the lab."

'We suspect death by Sunday supplement.'

Well, you're busted! Forensics just came back: the bite-marks match your dental records!

'We've got a new DNA database...'

Ancient Egyptian crime scenes.

'I'm going to ask you one more time; who left a hot mug on this table?'

Animals have broken into (and out of) Norm's home through window.

CSI Fridays

"The sweet smell of the leaves and the rain make fall such a refreshing time!"

"I'm home, with all my DNA."

'You're experienced with blood stains I trust?' (Smarthy ACME Carpet Cleaners)

'It's Yorick all right - I know his DNA well.'