Foreboding Follower Gifts

"I knew there was something wrong when he stopped reading the obituaries."

'Are you made of sugar?'

Your enemy is defeated by Fate

The Popularity of Pickleball Inspires a New Wave of Hybrid Sports.

Invisible clothes

Need a vitaminlike pill, but don't want to risk the side effects? Then try the world's first multivitamin placebo! They don't do any good, but they don't do any harm either.

"Tomorrow will be mainly sunny, but with some scattered showers..."

'Your tweets have quite a following.'

"I've found that when money starts talking, you can't shut 'er up!"

"Cut down on the pumpkin spice."

"Welcome to the French Quarter!"

"I'll have dessert first."

"The Curse of the robot followers: At first, Rob was thrilled with the all the attention and followers."

'You see me coming here every week and paying you fifty dollars...'

"Oh, Lord! Not another wine-and-cheese party!"

"Face it, Tim, that cute little Pet Rock you bought in 1976 is now a full-grown boulder - it's time to set him free!"

"Is it too much to ask for you to just act paranormal for once?"

"It's all good – but some of it is better."

The Fox and the Crow.

Our busy Sundays are Christmas, Easter and hurricane season.

Vaping cigarette

"It's not enough -- others must follow me on social media."

"As you know our marketing budget is small. We need to make a really bad commercial and hope it goes viral!"

Chances of the weather.

"My analysis is you're selfie obsessed!"

"Yes, sir. Your beer is cloudy. But, there's a good chance it'll become clear later."

'The grass over in the meadow looks better. I wish somebody would lead off.'

'Are you folks ready to take THIS ice bucket challenge?'

"The future's looking bleak! Is that it?"

'An expert is one who knows tomorrow why the things he said yesterday didn't happen today.'

'35,000 twitter followers, but no real friends...'

"Am I not being funny enough?"

Bobbing for Pumpkins - Innocent Fad, or Orthodontist Plot?