Foreboding Follower Gifts

"I knew there was something wrong when he stopped reading the obituaries."

'Are you made of sugar?'

The Popularity of Pickleball Inspires a New Wave of Hybrid Sports.

Eldrow

Your enemy is defeated by Fate

Invisible clothes

Need a vitaminlike pill, but don't want to risk the side effects? Then try the world's first multivitamin placebo! They don't do any good, but they don't do any harm either.

"Tomorrow will be mainly sunny, but with some scattered showers..."

'Your tweets have quite a following.'

"I'll have dessert first."

"Welcome to the French Quarter!"

"I've found that when money starts talking, you can't shut 'er up!"

"Cut down on the pumpkin spice."

"The Curse of the robot followers: At first, Rob was thrilled with the all the attention and followers."

'You see me coming here every week and paying you fifty dollars...'

"Oh, Lord! Not another wine-and-cheese party!"

"I'm on Twitter and I get the feeling I'm not being followed."

"Face it, Tim, that cute little Pet Rock you bought in 1976 is now a full-grown boulder - it's time to set him free!"

The Fox and the Crow.

"It's all good – but some of it is better."

"Is it too much to ask for you to just act paranormal for once?"

Our busy Sundays are Christmas, Easter and hurricane season.

Vaping cigarette

'Are you folks ready to take THIS ice bucket challenge?'

"My analysis is you're selfie obsessed!"

'The grass over in the meadow looks better. I wish somebody would lead off.'

"Yes, sir. Your beer is cloudy. But, there's a good chance it'll become clear later."

"It's not enough -- others must follow me on social media."

"As you know our marketing budget is small. We need to make a really bad commercial and hope it goes viral!"

"The future's looking bleak! Is that it?"

Chances of the weather.

'An expert is one who knows tomorrow why the things he said yesterday didn't happen today.'

'35,000 twitter followers, but no real friends...'

Bobbing for Pumpkins - Innocent Fad, or Orthodontist Plot?

The Fad Herald cometh. I bow to thee, Herald! Hear ye: The following trends are now in: Electric cars, charitable foundations, face masks – again – simultaneous theater and streaming release movies. The following items are out: French fries … Dang … balanced budget, blockbuster movies, and … uh-oh. Vaping. Herald down!!!