For A Dear Friend Who Loves Animals Pillows

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

Caveman's dog with head outside car window.

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"And for lot 27 we have another old tennis ball."

"We're just going to have to face the fact that you're not a puppy anymore!"

Mixed Doubles.

"Snow White! It's the dancing, singing woodland creatures wondering if you want to go down the pub."

Raised by Dogs

Lamb Noise.

"This never happened."

Bill and Lester have a 'Hay Day'.

'Good evening! The debate over animal experiments continues...'

Canine Scentipede

Self-Isolating. Do Not Disturb (Except For Food).

"Just when you're about to lose faith in humanity, you see Shakespeare in the Park."

Christmas Pets

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

'She still won't accept that she's the cat, and not the meow.'

"She's a dachshund-lemming mix."

"...and yet it doesn't quite capture his thoughtful, contemplative side."

Chasebook

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."

"Humans are strange."

"I'm supposed to wake Jasper up at sunrise, but which pile of snow is he asleep under?"

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

'Now, you're new here, but you should know the rules: I get Master's newspaper and slippers! Got that?'

Garbage Piñata

'Surely they don't expect us to carry around THAT sort of money?'

'We had him trained to stay off the furniture, right up until we gave up.'

Life's a Bench.

Labrador Non-retriever