Football Pun Appreciator Pillows

Funky Facts: Football.

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

Seagiraffes

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

"Trust me, Lew, if anyone knows where the salmon are jumping, she does!"

"He's taken buzzed to a whole new level."

"I said I wanted to visit the Brandenburg Gate."

First Novels.

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

'Your French dip, sir.'

"I don't want to fork. I just want to spoon."

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'Why don't you just pull over and let them pass already?!?'

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

Transylvanian backpackers.

QUINTUPLE BYPASSES EXPLAINED.

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."