Football Pun Appreciator Gifts

Funky Facts: Football.

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Unable to raise enough money for a trip to Paris, the Bartlesville High French Club had to settle for three days in Tulsa.

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

Today we'll see some misused or misunderstood financial and economic terms. It's said inflation can hurt the economy. But it's absolutely in the tire business. I bought this warm puffy jacket with cash. A down payment. We like beer and coffee. Our most valuable liquid assets. In a monopoly breakup, the race car would to go one person and the dog to another. And when I become either a buyer or a seller. He's shorting the market!

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

Seagiraffes

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

"Trust me, Lew, if anyone knows where the salmon are jumping, she does!"

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

'Your French dip, sir.'

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

"He's taken buzzed to a whole new level."

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

"I don't want to fork. I just want to spoon."

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

"I said I wanted to visit the Brandenburg Gate."

First Novels.

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'Why don't you just pull over and let them pass already?!?'

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

Transylvanian backpackers.