Football Fanatic At Heart Prints

"I think the vicar's taking things too far."

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

I like the Jets...I guess

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

Punt Cake

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

Football Chameleon

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

If nobody had invented graphics

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

Bears

Pregnant Cheerleaders,

Football

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Big screen TV.

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

"All of a dither as per usual!"

"Uptight End"

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

'I told him if he didn't get here quick he'd miss out on all the beer and food.'