Football Fan In A Suit Pillows

"So, do we change ends after a fifteen-minute recess?"

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

Football Chameleon

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

Pregnant Cheerleaders,

"Uptight End"

Archaeologists discover a football

"You're wondering why I've called you here."

'David when we said we would like you to be a role model for us. . .'

'And one and two and let change through and three and four and collapse on the floor.'

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'

'Now what?!'

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

'Well it's too bad you're not a black widow like me, Slyvia...'

'No we didn't get high definition TV - the wife dusted the screen.'

Referee cop.

Corporate pirate.

Red Card - Gold Card.

Hostile takeovers in the novelty business.

Level up your game with a MANicure.

"It's all show-as soon as Marks gone he switches off the football and reads Proust..."

'Bad boy! Drop the quarterback! Drop him! Drop!!'

Football Violence

'And if the scores remain level, you can text the name of the team you want to keep in the tournament.'

"Somebody in Boise needs my help. Run a credit check."

"Go deep!"

Woman rating a man's performance with scorecards.

St John's ambulance member "I prefer rugby myself, more blood shed"

'There's nothing in the rules about gloves.'

'Going up?'