Football Fan In A Suit Pillows

"So, do we change ends after a fifteen-minute recess?"

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

Football Chameleon

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

Pregnant Cheerleaders,

"Uptight End"

Supermarket - World Cup Specials

Archaeologists discover a football

'David when we said we would like you to be a role model for us. . .'

"You're wondering why I've called you here."

'And one and two and let change through and three and four and collapse on the floor.'

'Now what?!'

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

'Well it's too bad you're not a black widow like me, Slyvia...'

'Touchdown!'

'No we didn't get high definition TV - the wife dusted the screen.'

Referee cop.

Red Card - Gold Card.

'Bad boy! Drop the quarterback! Drop him! Drop!!'

Yoga. My goal in yoga is the same as the goal of defensive football players. Bend but don't break.

A well-known poet lives on this street. Building Supplies. I just need one. She authored a prize-winning screenplay. That offensive lineman is a novelist. My journalist friend is rejecting calls from my number. It's frustrating. I just can't escape writer's block.

"Go deep!"

"It's all show-as soon as Marks gone he switches off the football and reads Proust..."

Hostile takeovers in the novelty business.

Level up your game with a MANicure.

'And if the scores remain level, you can text the name of the team you want to keep in the tournament.'

Corporate pirate.

Football Violence

"Somebody in Boise needs my help. Run a credit check."

Woman rating a man's performance with scorecards.

Sports Medicine.

St John's ambulance member "I prefer rugby myself, more blood shed"

'There's nothing in the rules about gloves.'

'And no doubt you'll be pleased to hear, the pay's crap.'