Football Club Chairman Gifts

Footballers - Ken Bates

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

Apart from your mother, who else thinks you're doing a good job as Chairman of the company?

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

'All those in favor of having anchovies on our pizza will signify by saying aye.'

'Wake me up when he doesn't use a buzzword.'

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'

'You're not confident at the water hole are you?'

'Ted, I really wish you'd update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

Parade of Businessmen

"No way. Lando, my friend. Lando." "There's no way Lando Calrissian was a better betrayer than Alex Krycek." "Ask any passerby on the street. 9 out of 10 of them won't even know who Alex Krycek is." "That's utter foolishness. Everyone knows Alex Krycek. He was basically the X-Files' anti-Mulder. He could out-weasel Billy D. Williams any day." "Stop!" "When men start arguing over which fictional character was a better betrayer, they have officially run out of things to talk about." "That Kr

'If sales don't improve incrementally... our business outlook will change excrementally...'

'All right! Who put my dozing-off during our last meeting on youtube?'

'Let's hope the new norm means that less really is more.'

"That's six 'noes' and one 'aye', the ayes have it"

'We will not kick the can down the road... Does anyone know how to use a can opener?'

Pin the blame on the donkey.

'As meetings go that was one of my better ones!'

'Remember - Reilly's Chairman of the Board, but Henderson's the Alpha male.'

Now may not be a good time,he just found out he's not going to live forever.

Big Shot/Bigger Shot.

'Our Board of Directors are really very fickle!'

'Oh don't mind him - he's just a great big teddy bear.'

'If I believed in aptitude tests I'd still be washing cars in Accrington,.'

Trilby - 'Bonjour, Suzon!'

You said you wanted me to speak to the chairman of Hardcastle industries - I've just realised that's me.

'Don't be nervous, relax...he puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like you do. Of course, his pants are tailor made and cost $600 a pair...'

'My last comment appeared to be inviting feedback. Do not be fooled.'

'We used to be a patriarchy, but lately we've been more goddess-centric.'

"Since I am chairman, it behooves me to go first. 'What I Did Over My Summer Vacation,' by Wilson Rupert Hewes."

'Then it's settled. We'll make 7 million with blue handles, 5 million with red handles, 4 million with purple handles and 2 million with green handles.'

'As chairman, that's my opinion. I propose we table any motion to further discuss this matter. All those in favor say 'aye'. All those opposed say 'bye'.'

'That was when I closed five distribution centres, mothballed a factory and sacked 3,000 workers.'

Lord Avariss - Captain of Industry

You said you wanted to speak to the chairman of Zapco Steel - I've just realised that's me.