Football Championship Gifts

"He's bracing himself for disappointment."

Beware of English Fans

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

I like the Jets...I guess

Football Fans

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

Church for sports worshipers.

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

The trauma of losing.

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

Football Chameleon

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

Punt Cake

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

'Another football scholarship offer?'

If nobody had invented graphics

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

The Brothers Grime

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

An 'out of this-world' soccor player stops the penalty his way!