Foodie With Grit Gifts

Currently, I can only offer takeout service.

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"How can you be out of wings?"

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

"If you're tired of stegosaur, go kill something else."

hard-boiled egg...

"Are your eel rolls electric?"

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

"That's it. We’re toast."

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

"The spoon, he ran away with the goddam spoon."

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

'I've already been recruited by one of the top fast-food chains in the country!'

-'but for a full English breakfast you can't beat Blackpool,sir.'

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

"Everything tastes better when it's cooked on the grill."

How about going easy on the carbs

'A wheel? No wonder I broke a tooth. I thought it was a donut.'

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

Famous Jewish Blues Singer Series.

Advocado

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

Flying sauces.

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

"Chomp... Chomp... Curry Tree..."