Foodie With A Sense Of Humor Gifts

"I'm allergic to penicillin—is there penicillin in the salad?"

Cigars before lunch? I didn't want you to smell the burnt casserole.

"I'm trying to eat more vegetarians."

'Our menu is divided into three sections: Cancer causing foods, artery clogging foods, and foods that are being boycotted for political or environmental reasons.'

Food and Drug Administration, Yummy-Yucky.

'I don't care what your friends are doing. You're not leaving this house until your fix your label, young lady!'

'I'm on the inflation diet. Every week I spend the same amount of money and come home with less food!'

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

Mirror inside refrigerator. Caption: Bob devises the ultimate weight-loss system.

"I get a shooting pain up my left arm every time I reach for a second helping and my wife stabs me with her fork."

You must be this wide to enter the restaurant.

'The food is terrible! I won't eat it! Get the Manager!'

'What are the three basic food groups?'

'There are millions of bacteria in your intestines, anyway. What harm could one or two more do?'

"I'll have the Catch of the Day."

'You will eat a fortune cookie very soon.'

"Don't make me send over the bad waitress."

"If you're strict vegetarians, I recommend the catch-and-release of the day."

'Hi. I'm Tiffany and I'll be your waitress tonight -- this agreement may be terminated by either party at any time.'

'Good evening sir, I hope you haven't been waiting long.'

"Do you want a clean one?"

"Guess your weight gain since you've been here"

'I understand the new usher is in the restaurant business.'

'Sorry, it's because of Global warming - you want a dessert and get a desert!'

Diner

I made Guacamole.

"Quentin - I'm having a baby." "I'm just having a buttered roll."

'I think a lot of adults are overweight because they put ALL the food in their mouths.'

The salary was terrific, but something about Sally's new job made her very uneasy.

'Tell Luigi to be a lottle more careful with the pepper.'

'There's a fifteen minute wait for people we like, and a forty five minute wait for people like you.'

"This seat taken?"

'It's not looking good: Christmas is coming and the goose is on the Atkins diet.'

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

"Sorry, sir, but none of our food is very good. It's the chef's way of punishing the rich."