Foodie With A Sense Of Humor Gifts

Cigars before lunch? I didn't want you to smell the burnt casserole.

"I'm allergic to penicillin—is there penicillin in the salad?"

'Our menu is divided into three sections: Cancer causing foods, artery clogging foods, and foods that are being boycotted for political or environmental reasons.'

"I'm trying to eat more vegetarians."

Food and Drug Administration, Yummy-Yucky.

'I don't care what your friends are doing. You're not leaving this house until your fix your label, young lady!'

Before and After Holiday Diet

'I'm on the inflation diet. Every week I spend the same amount of money and come home with less food!'

Mirror inside refrigerator. Caption: Bob devises the ultimate weight-loss system.

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

"I get a shooting pain up my left arm every time I reach for a second helping and my wife stabs me with her fork."

'The food is terrible! I won't eat it! Get the Manager!'

'What are the three basic food groups?'

You must be this wide to enter the restaurant.

"I'll have the Catch of the Day."

'There are millions of bacteria in your intestines, anyway. What harm could one or two more do?'

"Don't make me send over the bad waitress."

'I guess this means it's over between us.'

'Hi. I'm Tiffany and I'll be your waitress tonight -- this agreement may be terminated by either party at any time.'

'You will eat a fortune cookie very soon.'

"If you're strict vegetarians, I recommend the catch-and-release of the day."

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'Good evening sir, I hope you haven't been waiting long.'

"Quentin - I'm having a baby." "I'm just having a buttered roll."

'Tell Luigi to be a lottle more careful with the pepper.'

'Will you two stop saying 'everything tastes like chicken'!'

Diner

I made Guacamole.

'I think a lot of adults are overweight because they put ALL the food in their mouths.'

"Do you want a clean one?"

The salary was terrific, but something about Sally's new job made her very uneasy.

'There's a fifteen minute wait for people we like, and a forty five minute wait for people like you.'

'Sorry, it's because of Global warming - you want a dessert and get a desert!'

"Guess your weight gain since you've been here"

'I understand the new usher is in the restaurant business.'