Foodie With A Focus Gifts

'Let's ease into this -- I want you to try fasting between meals.'

"Statins. I got statins. Who needs statins?"

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

"If you're tired of stegosaur, go kill something else."

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

"That's it. We’re toast."

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

"Are your eel rolls electric?"

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

-'but for a full English breakfast you can't beat Blackpool,sir.'

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

"The spoon, he ran away with the goddam spoon."

"Everything tastes better when it's cooked on the grill."

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

'I've already been recruited by one of the top fast-food chains in the country!'

How about going easy on the carbs

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

'A wheel? No wonder I broke a tooth. I thought it was a donut.'

Advocado

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

Famous Jewish Blues Singer Series.

Devil's food cake/Angel's food cake. Delivery mix-up.

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

Flying sauces.

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

"Chomp... Chomp... Curry Tree..."

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"