Foodie Paradox T-Shirts

'He's messing with my mind. He ordered a plain donut and a chocolate bagel with sprinkles.'

"We don't need menus. Just pick the healthiest dish you have and give it to us deep fried."

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

HELLth Food Sprouts

Surprise in the salad bowl

You'll be a manicotti soon enough, son - Just enjoy being a mostaccioli while it lasts.

"What does the time traveler do when he's hungry? Go back four seconds."

Cambridge dons eat a banquet outside to prove they only get one chicken each.

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

"Is it free-range?"

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

'What do you have that hasn't been cloned?'

"They have oat fiber, wheat fiber, and rice fiber, but no moral fiber."

"Your moon is in the House of Pancakes."

Free Range Chickens

Genetically-Modified Foods: Are they safe?

"It's dangerous to eat pangolins, but..."

"Yes, I know that chocolate comes from the cocoa Bean...but that does NOT count as a vegetable!"

What's the antidote for wheat germ?

'Before you order, perhaps you'd like to discuss your food issues with our eating therapist.'

Adam and Eve - Food scares

"The gods are distributing Chinese menus."

"He's a fussy eater."

O'Malley's Pub. Special: Cloned Beef and Cabbage. Is nothing sacred anymore?

Organic foods stand manned by stallholder using fly spray.

'We've had a couple of requests for an academic brouhaha, so we'll be preparing one of those today.'

"Are we pessimists and our stomachs are half empty or optimists and our stomachs are half full?"

Dinner Cereal, Corn Flakes with Spaghetti Sauce.

"I'll have the chicken or the eggs benedict—whichever of them comes first."

A man sprays a bug in an organic foods shop.

'. . . the Winter of Discontent Soup, Arab Spring Roll, Summer Madness Salad and The Season of Mellow Mists Fruit Medley.'

Chicago School of Home Economics

"Hey, Gary. Lois wanted to know if you’re up for waiting forever for reheated leftovers and sipping warm mimosas intended to ease the pain of poor service amid a cacophony of idiot tourists and 20-year-olds... you know, brunch."

Fruit and Vegetables - protestors signs read 'Stop this brutality' and 'Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants'.