Foodie On Fairways Gifts

'I tell you Eddy, I just love a sport where you can eat while you play.'

'I sent out for everything.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

What the Doctor Ordered

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

"You do like octopus?"

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

Ice Cream Surgeon

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

"Even the waiters here are organic."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

La Table

Fast food. Even faster food

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

"Easy for you to say - you're cured!"

'He made an excellent jelly.'

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

"The space aliens who abducted me wanted to know what it was like to be loved...I wasted no time."

"Rump roast?"

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

Pigeon Little

"Something's wrong with the broccoli. Please take it back to the kitchen and have it genetically modified."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'