Foodie Observer T-Shirts

"Is this from the community garden? It tastes sanctimonious."

"At Hooters I'd already have three compliments on my tie!"

'Fred's on a tough diet. He can look but he can't eat.'

"Two burgers, two fries, two martinis—and we'll have those to go."

Nothing like traveling hundreds of miles to immerse yourself in art for the sole purpose of killing time between meals.

"From right to left, you have your tekkamaki, your futomaki, and then your yamaimo roll. The little pile of pink stuff is ginger, the green one's wasabi. And, of course, you already recognize your vodka martini."

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

'Is this still America?'

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

'How was your holiday?' - 'Fantastic! Great weather! Great food! No illness!' - 'So, back to work tomorrow, then?' - 'Yeah, I guess so.' - 'Lousy, germ free holiday.'

"Hey, …. what's not to like?"

"Hey! There's a hair in my soup!"

"Who shaves the fennel in your family?"

'The braised toucan was fine...although I found the bill a little large.'

"Perhaps you wouln't have declared so many places 'worth a detour' if you'd held the map right way up!"

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

"I can deal with the conceptual art and electronic music, but what are these hors d'oeuvres supposed to be."

This is great, Ernie, there's a pennant race and the ballpark is packed every day! The food selection here is unmatched anywhere! Today I've already had nachos, a bit of hot dog and some ice cream! Coming here always makes me queasy! Oh, the foods too much for you? No, I just get nervous in a place where the term "sacrifice fly" is used!

Pastrami in the wild

'We're going to look pretty stupid if it's not a Michelin star.'

Journey of a sandwich through the digestive system.

'It's the LAST time I volunteer to organise the staff Christmas meal, I've spent three days trying to find a 'traditional' lacto-vegan Christmas menu.'

"I'm writing a memoir. It's mostly recipes."

'Sorry Sir, you've had enough,'

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

Empty landscape containing food and stationery.

"As you can see, my culinary creations are eclectic."

You have no experience eating lobster? Before I spend time showing you how, do you have experience tipping?

'What the devil is that?

'Use by June 2007. Gah' - 'Use by July 2007. Double gah.' - 'Best of a bad bunch...'

"Uncle Tod's Reviews"

Eve's Gourmet Apple Recipes (snake with apple in its mouth).

The staple grains tended to look down on the more specialized fare... like quinoa.

"You know they're trying too hard when the chef's special is Corn Dogs Bordelaise."