Foodie Golfer Pillows

'I said sand wedge.'

'I sent out for everything.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

What the Doctor Ordered

"Even the waiters here are organic."

"You do like octopus?"

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

Ice Cream Surgeon

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

La Table

Fast food. Even faster food

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

"Easy for you to say - you're cured!"

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

"The space aliens who abducted me wanted to know what it was like to be loved...I wasted no time."

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

'He made an excellent jelly.'

"Rump roast?"

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

Pigeon Little

"Something's wrong with the broccoli. Please take it back to the kitchen and have it genetically modified."

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'