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"Tongue please."

'You complimented the chef on his dumplings -now he wishes to return the compliments!'

"When you say that love is in the air, you're referring to the smells from the food trucks, right?"

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

The British Territory of the South Sandwich Islands.

'I think I'll go home and eat'

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

"I don't know where to begin, each dish has its own app."

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

You are what you eat (Nuts).

'Tasty bird.'

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

"[Old Steak Bone Tavern]"

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

NASA, 'I thought YOU were bringing a can opener!'

'Hey, honey bun!'

Uncle Giving Boy a Mince Pie

'Today's special is yesterday's left-overs.'

'In case of fire, don't panic. Pay your bill then leave.'

"Excuse me but it's our food, can you make it sexy?"

'The chef says, 'Thank your the compliment on the breast of the chicken and he would like to compliment you on the breast of YOUR chicken'.'

"My lord, Sir Arthur is pleased to bid thee welcome to his food court."

"Obviously, sir, it's a very discerning, vegetarian fly."

"Mixed nuts are brain food, or so I read in 'Mixed Nut Digest'."

Bagel problems.

"They're going to print a retraction - your desserts are not inconsistent."