Foodie Disappointer Pillows

'This restaurant has got zero stars, right? Every single one of them is well deserved.'

HELLth Food Sprouts

Cafe Burns.

'Your blood pressure is extremely high - your resistance to things that cause it, extremely low!'

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

'Ok. I'm cooking dinner. What sounds good?'

Cuckoo has got halfway through it's call and then had an arrow shot at it.

'The Ailing Matisse tries cutting out meat and dairy products.'

'My French is not so good.'

"He's a fussy eater."

All You Can Eat Buffet: "Remember, my safe word is 'Diabetes.'"

"When you came down for a snack last night, did you see a plate of dog food in here?"

"You asked me to keep a food diary, this is last week's!"

Diet Donuts - (Bigger holes).

"Combination No. 5--no MSG."

I Hate Alphabet Soup.

'We're sorry sir, but our kitchen is out-sourced and takes a little longer.'

'How can anything this bad be fattening?.'

"The I'm Going Off My Diet special comes with a side order of Guilt."

What do you mean it's not vegetarian? The maggots all jump out...

"Fred? Can you help me? I'm really in a jam."

'Now that I can afford anything on the menu, I can't digest anything on the menu.'

'My wife has me on a very strict diet so I need a safe place to store my binge foods.'

After standing on the scales Claire decided to stamp on the diet book.

'Allors Monsieur, let's see... one fish meal... one phone call for the ambulance... that'll be 79,70.'

'What's our offence? We've been on bread and water for 40 minutes.'

"I'm spending too much money on food. But what can I do? The kids won't eat anything else."

'Do you have a royalty card?'

'How many times did I tell you 'Don't eat the free samples given out on the street!'?'

'Not only our fishcakes, Granny Cora herself was recalled. She's not really a Granny.'

"A tip?... Yes, I'll give you a tip. Never eat here, the service is terrible!"

What do you suggest for someone on a diet who wants to leave room for dessert?

'Push away from the food, good...'

"It's horrible. Well, I share my food...on social media."