Food Sensitivity Sage T-Shirts

"It's the gluten-free edition."

We are shaped by what we love! Especially pizza and doughnuts!

The Authentic Christmas.

Fumes from furniture

"First you make a roux."

"Wait a minute- these are just the ten commandments of perfect mashed potatoes."

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

"Sure your portfolio has taken a hit, but if you stay in the market for the long haul you'll be fine."

'Leeks can disappoint you and garlic will break your heart, but only onions make you cry.'

Fish near-death experiences.

Last Will and Testament: Salt, Pepper, Tarragon, Garlic.

Before you learn to make the perfect ale, my son, you must first learn to make the perfect little bowl of nuts and pretzels.

'About that blood pressure...stop taking things with a grain of salt.'

'Was this eye of newt locally sourced?'

"I see you dropping something and then returning to me very soon."

"There is some evidence that chocolate can be good for you... But the health benefits tend to fade after the first 20 kilos."

'Apparently it's something to do with our methane gas output.'

Examine stored vegetables and throw out those which show signs of rotting.

What can I get you? Something light but filling. Flavorful but not too spicy. Healthy but not boring. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Something right in the middle. Neither here nor there. It must walk the line of non-offensive yet opinionated. I wonder if Arby's is taking applications. If I eat a sandwich in the woods and no one is around, do I make a sound?

'I'm not up here seeking wisdom - this is the only place they'll let me smoke.'

"I don't think you'll still be that 'Zen' when I tell you someone's nicked your cheese and pickle sandwich from the fridge."

'Hey, I just noticed something. So you know what you get if you cover the 'c' in potato chips? Potato hips, isn't that funny?'

The Deli Lama - Sandwich shop.

"Now Harold, you know those always give you heartburn."

"Yes, I've seen a few changes."

'I just love the change of seasons.'

"You tell him it needs more salt, I'm not telling him!"

'Hey newbie. Just ease and squeeze, ease and squeeze!'

Bacteria Special Offer

'I buy my cigars at Ikea!'

"I think you've crossed the line, Alphonse, from seasoning to herbal medicine."

'Which side of this cake is the left side?'

'I stand here before you with a heavy heart. There is a growing wheat intolerance in our land, and that makes my stomach turn...But get this! They say that's what we're doing to them!'

"I'm only attracted to older women."

"You can have the cherry - I'm on a diet."