Saving Sage T-Shirts

"Sure your portfolio has taken a hit, but if you stay in the market for the long haul you'll be fine."

"We finally reached net zero emissions."

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

One way only.

'Unfortunately, there's no cure. It's called growing older.'

Climate Summit

"Bear in mind there are three laws in this gym we cannot ignore: health, safety and gravity."

"Say one Our Father Attenborough and three Hail Gretas."

"If obsessing about trash is wrong, then. . . I don't wanna be right."

It's the biofuel generation.

"Someday, son, all this will be yours. It'll be under water, but still ..."

The Authentic Christmas.

"Don't forget your gunfighting helmet."

"All my stuff is 'Rosebud'."

A wiser and a better man

"Let it go. You have to learn to pick your battles."

The oil trap.

Energy Conservation Be Damned. Fred constantly prepared for Global Warming and Nuclear Winter to happen at the same time.

"Aways the victim."

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

Trusting

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

"And that one's for the relief of anxiety caused by the high cost of medication."

"Please help us reduce our garbage and improve our energy efficiency and our water quality. Help us to be eco-wise and-above all-to empower others."

"Your mom is a little overprotective, isn't she?"

WORLD COUNCIL ON GLOBAL WARMING, 'I regret to report that there's no global warming threat after all - we just got Fahrenheit and Celsius mixed up.'

Climate Change Rhetoric

Climate Change Denier's Playbook

"But deep down you must have wanted to change."

'There's a lot of bugs in these parts, so I suggest you wear your helmet from here on out.'

'It's no use Lieutenant - he's still refusing to separate his recyclables.'

"...At what point do hemorrhoids become 'just another hobby?'"

Bank. I'm getting zero percent on my savings! We've reached the point of no return.

The question "Is it safe to be on that thing?" means something different today than it did a year ago.