Food Safety Officer T-Shirts

"You can't eat that. It has nuts in it."

'This will make the consumers think differently about our bacteria problem,'

Genetically Altered Salmon (and other foods) Research

No cows were harmed in the making of this beefburger.

"Did you manage to pass the buck on our dodgy food?"

"Hotel UFO! Yes - that's right our dining room opens at 5 and closes at 5:15!"

"All the adventure is gone since the bred out all the Trichinosis."

"According to its DNA, your meatloaf is from an unknown species."

Hygiene in food processing

'There's a bee here from the Food and Drug Administration who wants to inspect the hive.'

'Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.'

'To be honest, I'm more worried about what they've done with the rest of it.'

Egg Recall

"The law does not concern itself with trifles."

'The Department of Agriculture was never this strict before.'

Beef burgers without horse meat: the only guy you can trust!

'Henri! We found your sweatband!'

'Do you think we will get away with it?'

'I'll have whatever you serve the health inspector.'

'It seems the environment people, the health department and the food and drug administration all have reservations about his place.'

'Get back...the bag of nuts may contain nuts!'

'Who on EARTH writes a warning that this bag of nuts 'May contain nuts'?'

Warning! All items in this store approved by the U.S. regulatory system.

'Trying to sell these things is like flogging a dead horse.'

Animal Cracker Co. Quality Control. In addition to the expiration date, we put a mine canary in every box!

It's not a fortune - it's a list of food code violations at the Chinese restaurant next door.

would you like it with extra botulism and a touch of salmonella?

Your lobster was off!

Kitchen Kapers

Honest Vending

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

HELLth Food Sprouts

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

"Please don't kill me."