Food Pyramid Explorer Gifts

"His idea of exercise is climbing the food pyramid."

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

See you at the farmers market!

Nothing like traveling hundreds of miles to immerse yourself in art for the sole purpose of killing time between meals.

"From right to left, you have your tekkamaki, your futomaki, and then your yamaimo roll. The little pile of pink stuff is ginger, the green one's wasabi. And, of course, you already recognize your vodka martini."

'Is this still America?'

"I can't go much longer without your asking why I'm vegan."

'How was your holiday?' - 'Fantastic! Great weather! Great food! No illness!' - 'So, back to work tomorrow, then?' - 'Yeah, I guess so.' - 'Lousy, germ free holiday.'

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"Hey, …. what's not to like?"

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

"Oh, Oh, Oooohh!"

"Perhaps you wouln't have declared so many places 'worth a detour' if you'd held the map right way up!"

"Who shaves the fennel in your family?"

"Young man, the world is your oyster, but for God�s sake avoid peanuts, soy, milk, eggs, wheat, fish, tree nuts, and chocolate."

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

"I can deal with the conceptual art and electronic music, but what are these hors d'oeuvres supposed to be."

Italian Style Fish 'n' Chips

Pastrami in the wild

Attack of the 'health' foods

Journey of a sandwich through the digestive system.

'It's the LAST time I volunteer to organise the staff Christmas meal, I've spent three days trying to find a 'traditional' lacto-vegan Christmas menu.'

'Sorry Sir, you've had enough,'

Nutritional Supplements.

You have no experience eating lobster? Before I spend time showing you how, do you have experience tipping?

Arabic Thief Salad - lashings of whipped cream...

"You know they're trying too hard when the chef's special is Corn Dogs Bordelaise."

"As you can see, my culinary creations are eclectic."

The Pumpkin Spice Routes

'What the devil is that?