Food Preservation Pal Gifts

'Ugh, I hate food with preservatives.'

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

'Now, think hard about it: Do you want to be known as the one who ate the last Dodo?'

Happy Surrogate Thanksgiving

"I wish we were just called T-Rex..."

The Gardener's Holiday: Don't leave produce behind you to perish.

"I hope you're not using any of the canned food I so diligently stockpiled.

"You had me at alternative milk."

'Of course, I'm proud of you but I don't think he would be a healthy after school snack.'

'Wow, are all these desserts for here, or are you going to stuff your faces in the privacy of your own home?'

"I'm going to prepare a special dish for Thanksgiving dinner."

'Bront?saurus.'

"I've had 720 children. I hope they're all doing well."

'Wait till the big dumb nut gets home and finds out he's got a wig.'

"Hundreds of eggs a year, and I've never seen a vet. The Mare has one foal, and it's the Mayo Clinic."

'You're eating too much roughage.'

Food inspection results

How the bones got into the Le Brea Tar Pits

One young wife asking another if she finds it more economical to do her own cooking.

T-Rex Baseball

'Don't look now, but here comes some natural selection.'

"You're lucky your garden failed. If I'd had to can it, it would've been your marriage."

'There's not use-by date on honey: It pretty much lasts forever...'

"I'll repeat the question! Does this axe belong to you?"

"Just you wait!"

I will eat my greens for you (today!)

Check the Chicken fingers on Table seven

'Not the funky chicken?'

"And then in Italy Paola's collection of canned tomatoes is unrivaled"

The little preservative that could

"Have they no shame?"

'Pasta imposter' "Oi! You're not vermicelli, you're cheese string..bugger off!!"

"I say we put it in little tin cans, call it Spammoth and sell it."