Food Lover's Fantasy Gifts

"Oh, but we could be so good together...!"

'Your French dip, sir.'

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

'I can't wait 'til hunting is googling and gathering is calling out for delivery.'

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

"This is our soft opening."

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

"We're odd looking but just as good."

"And then, when I feel like a rum punch and breaded shrimp, I can just swim to Tony’s Trattoria."

"I thought there would be bacon here."

The candy house, if the tale of Hansel and Gretel would happen today.

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

Kiddies Menu for Witches

'Excuse me - are you organic?'

Victorian Fast Food - 'I'll have the lark pie festooned with eels, a full stilton, two bottles of port,,,'

"Just a pinch, Helga ... spicy eye of newt doesn't agree with me."

'Pepperoni: Muse of Pizza'

'Just for once, can't we have a picnic without your mates turning up to crawl all over the food?'

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."

"Mom said never use that dirty 4-letter word on vacation...DIET."

A man and baby wearing bibs

"I'm trying to gain 10 pounds before midnight so I can keep my resolution to lose 10 pounds next year."

"I only recommend the 24 oz. Prime rib for big fat guys."

'My wife's on a diet. So far she's lost her personality.'

The eye of newt - Is it gluten-free?

'You may well have eaten fresher fish before but not in this restaurant. . .'

'The marvelous thing about a Singles cruise is, if you don't find an interesting man, you can drown your sorrows with interesting food.'

Cook being told what to do by housemaid

If traffic signs were used in everyday life...

I always forget - is it white with dry food and red with wet food, or the other way around?

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways … Open Mike Night Presents Sadie Cohen. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my ladle can reach … When feeling hungry for the crunch of crouton and ideal lettuce. I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet need ... by cheesy bread and chicken wing. I love thee freely, as men strive for right. I eat of thee freely, and then, at four, 'tis goodnight. O Sizzler salad bar, how do I love thee? I'm hungry.

'You'll love this, it has no nutritional value.'

"Get the meat loaf—I hit it out of the park today."

"George often brings his work home with him."

"I diet religiously. I eat what I want and pray I don't gain weight."