Food Industry Fan T-Shirts

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

Counting ribs

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

Freshest ice cream in town!

"We won!"

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

Before/After

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

Party time.

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

"What time did you say you wanted me to start drinking?"

"We've misjudged the tapas again."

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

You're the sizzle in my roast!

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

"Your meal sounded nice."

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

Dad's old fashioned barbeque

"Is the garbage fresh?"

Thermidor Dali

"The special is… pine nut encrusted… filet of salmon… in a balsamic wine reduction."

A convenient attack of swine flu...

'Pumpkin pie isn't dessert. It's another vegetable.'

'Are you sure these sprouts aren't GM?.'

I am to blame.

"He'd like the broiled monkfish, too, but first he's having a quick taste of the gutter."

"You know, it really wasn’t that bad."

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."