Food Fiesta Fan Pillows

"Welcome to the Bermudez family Christmas party!"

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

Counting ribs

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

Important Food Groups

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Benihana style of cooking.

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

Kitchen Kapers

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

The Streets - Night

Would you be willing to sign something regarding the fat content of your burger? Like what? My colon.

Burnt or Raw?

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

"Dessert?""No thanks, I'm stuffed."

Church Basement Foodie

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

OFA. Onion Farmer of the Year. I told myself I wasn't going to cry ….

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

'Men's cooking'

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

Highlights From The Annual Central Park Country Fair

"Is the garbage fresh?"

Child Sells Gluten Free Mudpies

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

"Well, I'm the company sports champion! During the lunch break I ate more hamburgers than any other colleague!"

North Fork, the town too tough to diet.

"As you can guess, Rico is my role model."

Will work for Food Network.

A convenient attack of swine flu...

"How did I find my lamb chop? Well, I lifted up a roast potato and there it was."