Food Fad Followers Pillows

"None of our items are gluten-free, but they are prepared by people who are."

"Where do we put Desserts?"

Queen of Quinoa

'Miss Raleigh. I'm studying megatrends. Bring me some megavitamins.'

Spontaneous Kombucha

"You'll find that as a restaurateur I've worked hard to showcase the finest in organic and free range ingredients that have been harvested and prepared in authentic and traditional ways."

"I just found a lacto-vegan restaurant and Janet from accounts says she's FRUITAIAN!"

"I assume you're on the paleo diet."

"I'm not sure cuteness counts as a core competency? but hey if it gets hits, you're on."

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

'Bad news! More people are switching from red meat to fish!'

"It's natural, vegan organic, no additives, preservatives or cooking."

"Enlightenment can only come when you realize there is more to life than gluten free hot sauce."

"We couldn't find a raw-vegan, gluten-free, sugar-free, non-G.M.O. cake for your birthday, so we got you nothing."

"I can't remember if I'm off red meat, or eating nothing but red meat."

Loom Bands Craze: 'It's supposed to be a bracelet, Mum.'

"What's trending?"

"Bingo, it's the hippy lady again! She always throws something interesting: last week it was honey-beer bread..."

"And the best part of grinding their bones to make your bread - totally gluten free!"

"Fall is coming, Snickers. We must pumpkin spice everything."

"I think you'd be surprised by how simple this avocado toast recipe is."

"We've gone 'Glutton-Free'."

"In this restaurant, quality control means I must approve every picture you take of the food."

Popeye Switches to Kale.

'Now you tell me you've gone vegan?'

"As far as I can tell, meditation is just worrying minus the content."

There's a sky full of bloated women counting on you to produce a pro-biotic yoghurt like you've never produced before!

Hoax Ethnic Food

"What's upscale today, Joey?"

"Avocado...t-toast..."

'To authenticate this recipe, first purchase a Soil Association accredited small holding in an unspoilt and exclusive locale, steadily add copious illustrated puff pieces to the nation press and plug. . .'

The Gluten is Free. RUN!

"So, it's Gluten free, lactose free and meat free. How does it taste?"

"Where can I find your organic, locally raised children?"

"One skinny latte, and is that with almond milk, coconut milk, soya milk..."