Food Debate Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Patient continues to entertain the sincere delusion that apple pie served with a slice of cheese on top is delicious..."

'Here's a song for all of you who are conflicted over whether or not it's safe to eat genetically-modified food.'

'I really like these GM foods.'

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

Mayo-A-Mayo

"Steak, Richard, is just grown up veal."

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

I grew up vegetarian. Wow. That takes work to stay strong. What motivates you? Hey, lettuce brain! Peer pressure.

'It was the last straw when she threw her lumpy gravy over me!'

"Beans count as healthy vegetables but jelly beans don't? Not faaaiiir!!!"

"What do you have that justifies its calories?"

"Never eat anything you can't lift over your head."

"What would make it perfect, egg salad or pastrami?"

The Last Dinner

"Were you genuinely interested in where I get my protein, or was it the introductory question to a long and pointless attack on my personal dietary choices?"

"How come there's a forbidden fruit but not a forbidden vegetable?"

'I wouldn't call myself a vegetarian, but I don't eat dead animals either.'

"We're wolves, Jessica. We eat veal."

'Ever noticed how triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones?'

'If you'd like to, you can discuss the question of eating genetically-modified food with our staff ethicist.'

"I'm the 'Before' in diet ads."

"Papi, we've decided we want nothing but salads...and hamburgers...for every meal."

Once again, the conversation gets too heated, and the selection of a state muffin has to be shelved until next year.

Restrooms.

"What's all this fuss about genetically modified food, anyway?"

"I'm a big devotee of fasting."

"Are you still a vegetarian if you only eat herbivores?"

She's Not Heavy, She's a Heroine

'Keep complaining about my meals and you can fry your own salad!'

"I've been eating genetically modified corn all my life and I don't see what all the fuss is about!"

Atkins Diet Clinic